Yarn Shaming: November Lot

I wasn’t planning on yarn shaming today, but I made the mistake of searching the “knitting” tag on Pinterest. Here are just some of the things I found. Please be warned: these images may disturb sensitive viewers.

1.

k1

“Oh please excuse us as we blaze past in a tornado of yarn!” I especially like the fear in the eyes of the model on the left.

2.

k2

This man’s super power is not constantly fidgeting with the off-center buttons. It may be why he has that slightly “medicated” look about him.

3.

k3

Today knitting; tomorrow levitation.

4.

k4

I’m concerned for the orbital cavities of her friends and family members.

5.

k5

Let it never be said that her vampirism held Octavia back from a fruitful career as part time knitwear model, part time matador.

6.

k6

(They’re frowns.)

7.

k7

I like how baby knitwear designers always prioritize practicality and skirt needless whimsy and hats bigger than the child wearing them.

8.

k8

Hipsters can’t be choosers.

9.

k9

You can now buy knitting needles that look like they have little olives/zombie nipples at the ends.

10.

k10

This is actually a very clever design. The top half is to keep the mohair yarn away from that delicate, itch-prone skin around your neck and face, and the bottom, mohair, half is to keep other people’s delicate, itch-prone skin away from you. It’s like a rape whistle, but with wool.

11.

k11

I think there’s someone else in there.

12.

k12

I like how both the turkey and the sweater match each other in terms of terrible taste and questionable judgment.

13.

k13

The kids hate when creepy Aunt Jenna makes her lambs bo peep them.

14.

k14

I think it makes more sense when you realise that it doesn’t and never will.

15.

k15

I feel very strongly about not making whatever this is.

16.

k16

For those days when you want to look like the lint and dust bunnies under your bed.

17.

k17

Excellent! You already have all the kindling we need to set it on fire and watch it burn.

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