Skulls, knitting and Satan’s teddy bear

Today I crocheted a skull, as one does. I adapted this free pattern and the result was passable, if slightly wonky (‘My dear…you have…the Grim!’). I used a 4.5mm hook and doubleknit yarn in a kind of ‘schoolyard suicide’ grey, which was a rash impulse buy from the very limited selection at our local haberdasher.

Since Regretsy met its end earlier this month (I’ll admit, it was a blow), I thought I’d try my hand at DIY/WTF craft critiquing on some of the items lonely of common sense/good taste found during Pinterest trawls:

1.

Sweater/thing

Kicking off our line-up is a wearable yellow brick road. I’ve noticed that these big, exaggerated knits are in fashion, and I guess I can see the appeal…if you want to look like Thumbelina.

2.

Orangeorangeorange

Well, at least cars won’t hit you as you flee the fashion police. The pattern itself is decent enough, but the fluorescent orange is a shade too bright to be legal.

3.

One nipple, two nipples!

I’m not sure that there is any knitting involved here unless it’s knittiting.

4.

Vintage awful

It’s always nice to recycle, of course, unless it’s a circa 1970 tablecloth into a dress. Not even the tall/skinny/photogenic model can convince you that this is anything other than a gigantic doily.

5.

Satan's teddy

Last but not least we have Satan’s teddy. Worked up in human blood red with cold, staring buttons for eye, this toy is sure to scare the shit out of children and adults alike.

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